So, despite that fact that I haven't written anything on this thing in well over a year, I grace you all with my presence.
About a year and a half ago, I moved away from home. It was 3 days after my 18th birthday, I was tired of living with my parents and sister and I was in love with a beautiful girl who lived a few States away. So, I packed my bags, caught the next Plane to NSW and began my new life. A life of my own, without worrying about Mum or Dad or My Sister or My Niece. Just me and the woman I love.
Life was progressing at a nominal rate until one day when I got a phone call from Mum. Dad was sick. He'd had a stroke. He was in the Hospital. HOLY FUCK! What the actual fuck?! I'd only seen the man 3 weeks ago and now he'd had a major stroke and the outcome wasn't looking good. Needless to say, I was fucking shocked.
But, not having a car or the several thousand dollars it would have cost to fly back up to Queensland and see him, life kinda continued without any encouragement.
Then I got the call, it was about midnight (that's always more dramatic) and it was Mum. I knew what she was going to say before she said it, there was no other reason for a call that late.
He was gone. *snap* Just like that. Here one minute, gone the next. I cried myself to sleep in my lovely ladies arms that night.
Then I called up my boss, told her the news and asked for the day off. She was fine with it. Tried to give me encouragement, didn't really work. I was back at work 2 days later. Dad was gone, yes. But my bills weren't. I had to work, I doubt I was very cheerful that day.
Then Mum called again, his funeral was coming up, would I be able to make it? No, Mum, I don't have the money to fly up. What if I could pay for your ticket? No, Mum, it would be thousands of dollars and how would I get home? Oh, that's ok then. Pretty sure I cried that night, too.
The issue was, Dad had died exactly a month after I had left home, a month to the day. It was Easter, flights were packed and expensive. I couldn't just pull the money to get up there out of thin air anymore than I could pull the money to get home out of my arse. I couldn't make it. Mum and My Sister understood, they did. Or at least they really tried.
I loved my Dad, he was probably the single best person I'd ever met. Sure, he had his flaws, he'd made mistakes. But still, he worked everyday up until he was fired for having a mini-stroke, just to support us. Don't tell my Mum this, but I'll always think that he knew he could finally rest now that I was looking after myself. My Sister would always have my niece, Mum would always have her. It was me he was worried about, and once I had left, moved on, he decided he'd had enough.
I know I wasn't there to send you off, I know some people make horribly cruel remarks about my absence and I know sometimes I make off-colour jokes to mask the pain, but. I love you Dad. I will always and have always. I know what I'll name my first Son and I know that I made you proud and you loved me. Since I couldn't be there when it happened, I know this is a poor excuse, but, I love you, Dad and I'll miss you.
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